the bitchen' blog. literally.

Apologies..

for the relapse of abandoned-blogging syndrome. I don't even know why that is. I have been in America for a month now, but contrary to popular belief, I haven't been anywhere particularly touristy yet. The first two weeks were pretty fast-paced, meeting everyone in the first week, dinners with the respective families, getting my hair done by the family hairdresser, getting my teeth checked, shopping non-stop..and then of course you have.. the amazing eating marathons.

oh my.

There is a reason why Americans are said to have the most obese people in the world. It is because they have the most awesome food in the world. The most awesome fast food to be precise. And all those drive-thru's. You know you're in a great country when there's a drive-thru Starbucks.

Also, the grocery shops or supermarkets as I'm used to calling them are the best. Never before have I enjoyed grocery shopping until now. Supermarkets here have everything, and even serve good, cheap sushi which totally gets top rankings from me. And they're actually nice places to be in..from their decor to the customer service which is without a doubt, THE awesomest. Everyone's so goddam friendly I want them all to be my friends. I want to live here, for real. Now I just need to pack my Momma and my Poppa in my suitcase to come live here with me.

Oh and the best thing about America? SCRAPBOOKING. I know. They have specialty shops everywhere for scrapbooking. Alex's mom got me one for my birthday and for a fancy-stationery addict like myself, that's the best gift (of course I'm not complaining about the 3rd generation iPod Nano either :p) Even in their Wal-Mart's you have a section dedicated to scrapbooking and you can get all sorts of cute additions for scapbooks from themed papers, to stickers and cute little appliques to match the occasion. Am I loving it or am I loving it.

So things were going well, then BAM..puasa month. I found myself being cut from doing activities that tire me out. Now I pride myself on fasting the whole of last year in London (thanks to polycystic ovaries) and only missed two days this year due to a trip to the dentist but I've definitely come to the conclusion that fasting abroad, alone, is not easy and in no way fun.

Last year, I had classes from 11am - 7.30pm yet I still managed to fast a whole month. At the time, my Czech friend Hana reckoned that it was because I was missing home so much that I had the need to hold on to something that was a part of my culture, to feel like I wasn't losing myself. While I would like to agree that part of that theory did sound true..I'd like to think that now, after having to explain to a huge Christian family in the US of A about my reasons for fasting (which some think is absolutely hazardous to health in terms of dehydration) I find myself having to justify my religion and my choices.

Don't get me wrong, Alex's family is the nicest family I've ever had the opportunity to have met. I love that they are curious about me, I love that they ask me all these questions about my culture and religion. And if anything, it has only made me realise why I've been doing these religious acts that I've been doing and I'm glad that I've realised that I've had the right intentions all along.

Like another fellow blogger had mentioned, I am perhaps not the best example of the perfect Muslim. I drink on occasion, and do not cover my aurat. These are some of the more obvious characteristics. I used to pray once a day for a short time at least before leaving for London, but it was tough to keep that up once I got there. For the most of my life in London though, I did a very good job of sticking to Halal food, but towards the last month there..I found myself just dying to eat non-Halal chicken whenever the mood struck. And when I came to America, let's just say the greed and need to want to try all the Buffalo Blasts and Jamaican Breeze's got the best of me. I ate like a King. And boy, it felt good.

So when puasa month came, I had a bunch of decisions to make. And I knew if I made a decision, I had to stick to it. Because I had to explain to a bunch of white people why I was doing what I was doing, I knew I didn't want to be fickle, let alone be seen as a fickle person. Bottomline is that I'm a Muslim. Do I love my religion? Yes. I figure, as long as I have a good justification for my actions, no one can say what is right and what is wrong and in doing my duty as a good Muslim, it is my responsibility to portray my religion for what is, all its beautiful qualities, and not my weaknesses as its follower. An ex of mine once told me that the most important thing in Islam was the intention to do everything for the Almighty. It is a belief that I still hold on to strongly.

Secondly, I know I'm not a bad person. Call me gullible, but the story about how the gates of hell are closed in this holy month along with all the syaitan's has always stuck with me. And so the story goes that everything bad that you do in this month, is completely your own doing - and not the doing of Satan's temptation as in the case of Adam and Eve. Always being up for a challenge, I take it upon myself to prove that I am all that I claim to be. It also gives me a cheap thrill to secretly say "Face!" to no one in particular whenever I turn down a Carls Jr Spicy Crispy Chicken Burger. Ok so I'm lame, but I think of the fasting month as my reality check. It's like I give myself the liberty to act like a twit for 11 months, but once every year I make sure I'm stable by detoxifying my sins for a month. Make sense? Go figure.

So for this month, I have decided that I'm going to be good (except for the fact that I share a room with my boyfriend, I'm not about to shoo him off the bed and nooo way I'm sleeping on the floor again). I'm going to fast, eat only Halal meat, and not drink. The drinking, I don't care. I'm not an alcoholic. But the meat business is tough. Not only is it hard on me, but it is hard on Alex and his family especially his mom whom I spend a lot of time with. She has to makan the same time as me, drop everything else to make sure I eat at 7.03pm, and she has to think of places with good vegetarian/fish dishes. I am grateful that they are so accepting of me even as far as his mother going to a Halal meat market to get ground beef to make lasagna for her son's birthday. I do feel truly blessed. There are so many reasons to complain about not having to eat, but it is times like these that one should be thinking about all the things they are blessed with, for instance, a family to break fast with or even the Pasar Ramadhan just filled with delicious treats - what I would give to have Nasi Dagang right now.

So here's to everyone who is finding it hard, think too much and it will be a chore. Just think of it as self-improvement rehab.


And really, isn't that what religion is about anyways?


Safe fasting ya'll.