What’s the Scoop On Books?

Since most of the difficult bits pertaining to Project Director have been sorted out during CNY week and out of the way now (now the fun part of delegation! Whoopee.), I finally have the time to blog about my class event – The Scoop on Books! Reading Campaign.

It started off as a brief proposal for a one day event to cultivate healthy reading habits among Malaysia’s young and fund-raising for the development of Braille reading materials. I certainly did not expect my project to be selected amidst other campaigns proposed by other groups ie. SPCA charity drive, Batik Gala dinner, Petronas F1 campus tour..and so on.

How this idea came into being you may ask? I swear I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I browsed through NST’s lifestyle section and lo and behold – came across this feature article on Rebecca Duckett-Wilkinson, a local children’s book author, promoting her book Natu the Chichak. Bam! There was my event.. I wanted to promote her book!

So here I was, thinking ah heck, they’ll prolly not choose my event anyways but whaddya know, here I am a month later in full Project Director glory (what do I know about leadership?!).
After our thrice weekly meetings, the humble one-day event has now become a full-fledged campaign. Basically, this campaign is targeted at preschoolers from the age of 4-6 years, and consists of three parts –

i) Press Conference (24th February 2006)
ii) Kindergarten Celebrity Reading (10th March 2006)
iii) Sundae Party@galleriiizu (2nd April 2006)

There will we four celebrity readings held simultaneously on the 10th at four separate kindergartens. So far, the celebs who have been contacted are

i) Ashraf Sinclair (Confirmed)
ii) Adibah Noor (Confirmed)
iii)Cheryl Samad (Confirmed)
v) Sazzy Falak (guest celeb for Sundae Party..she looks so angry in the photo!)

We also have a patron – Datin Radziah Mohd. Daud, the President for the National Association for Early Childhood Care and Education Malaysia (NAECCEM) who has agreed to sponsor books as prizes. She has also agreed to brief our celebs as to the proper way of reading books to preschoolers (it’s an art you see), that will not only be fun, but able to develop their fine motor skills at the same time.

There will be a drawing competition themed “My Favourite Book Character” during the Kindergarten Celebrity Reading whereby two winners will be selected from each kindy, and their drawings will be printed onto cards and later sold at RM10.00 per booklet (consisting of eight cards). We will be targeting personal sales as well as bulk-sales to corporations.

The Scoop on Books! A Sundae Party

This event finale will be held at galleriiizu, a very nice contemporary art gallery in the heart of KL (opposite the KLCC Convention Centre). Why an art gallery? We’re branding our event as discovering the art of reading. I’m sure we’re all aware that anyone can read a book aloud, but not everyone can do it well. Same goes to teaching, anyone can teach, but not everyone can teach effectively. This event is targeted to middle-upper class parents who encourage and cultivate the finer art of reading – definitely an event every child should have the privilege of participating! (Oh I forgot to mention, each child should come in costume as favourite book character..joy!)

Rebecca Duckett-Wilkinson (my muse bwaha) has also agreed to conduct the final book-reading session at galleriiizu and also very graciously agreed to give 30% of all book-sales proceeds to our fundraising cause.

We will also be inviting a few blind + disabled children to join in on the fun, and there will be a brief Braille appreciation session, as well as a Braille recital by one of the students from MAB. There’s also a Creative Writing Recital by the other preschoolers. The day closes with a Sundae party whereby all preschoolers get rewarded with ice-cream..yum!

Anyway, so far things have been going pretty smooth flowing. We’re looking for monetary contributions though so if anyone is interested in helping out this event with a good cause (children + the blind..c’mon!) do let me know. We can arrange to have your logo/advertisement in our program book for the Sundae Party. Rest assured that our event will receive publicity (doh, it’s a PR counseling project!), we will be sending out press releases and invitations to the media, and with our line-up of celebs I’m sure there’ll be a good photo opportunity for it to get good coverage in papers. So yeah, contributions of ANY sort would be good :D

I’m so stoked that things are going well..yay!! I have to thank my team of 26 individuals..you guys are doing a great job, this project wouldn’t be as big as it is without each and everyone of you, and thanks for believing in me <3

Audra was a Well-Dressed Scientist in a past life. http://www.quizmeme.com/pastlife/quiz.php

That is correct.

Horror-Movie Fetish


watched this Thai-horror flick Long Khong on Friday with Nadia and Ian..good stuf! no doubt the editing was pretty messy, but it did provide some good spooks. suddenly brought back childhood memories, all those nights scaring myself silly reading True Singapore Ghost Stories (TSGS) and collecting creepy 'real-life' stories from family and friends. Those raya holidays, the Sri Aman behind-the-school-hall sessions..good times! :)

here's the synopsis on GSC's site, couldn't really find anything much on the movie anywhere else.

LONG KHONG

When the reunion of 6 souls commence, a haunting past
binds the ring of friends in an evil world filled with black magic and doom.
What horror previously initiated, now beckons up the 6 lives, rendering them
without a chanced of redemption.

synopsis doesn't do much justice to it but oh oh..didju know it's actually called The Art of the Devil II which means there was a prequel before this! whee! anyway basically the movie's about Cambodian black magic..anything voodoo-related is good with me lah. throw in some live catfish, dirt from someone's foot, scary topless blubbery 'bomoh'..i especially loved the main setting chosen for the movie. emily rose ain't got shit on this movie (well to be honest, never even watched the movie..looked like your average white-horror-fair. my bad.)

well Long Khong wasn't as mind-blowing as Shutter but i loved it all the same. its even got me inspired (yes Pat if you are reading this..another film-idea in the works mwaha!).

another movie i watched yesterday was David Lynch's Oscar nominated Blue Velvet. dude that movie is S.T.R.A.N.G.E. oh and i got to see Isabella Rossellini naked.. woot. but yeah, i so did not know what to expect when Sang recommended that i watch it (coming from you Sang, i shoula known better :P) thought the script was pretty lame tho (a bit like the short film i produced haha) so yeah but seeing that it was produced in 1986..i'll cut it some slack. *starts singing* She wore blue velvetttt.. Bluer than velvet was the nighttt..lol to all you fellas who've got weird fetishes..WATCH it.

Baby wants to fuck! Baby wants to fuck Blue Velvet! - Frank Booth

Alternative movies
Elizabeth John

Jan 22:
It’s still a niche market, but films from non-traditional sources are acquiring a following, ELIZABETH JOHN discovers.

IN a narrow shop lot where endless rows of pirated DVDs line the walls like a multi-coloured wallpaper, a trader pushes forward a folder full of "foreign" language films.

"French. Very romantic one. Look lah," he says extracting one with a cover showing a couple in blissful slumber.It is Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Oscar-nominated film, Un long dimanche de fiançailles (A Very Long Engagement).The film, which did not make it to the big screen here, is the story of a young woman’s relentless search for her fiancee who disappeared from the trenches of the Somme during World War I.

In other parts of town, pirates hawk titles from Siberia to South Africa, some in languages we’ve never heard spoken, like Dzongkha, the national language of Bhutan.Are pirates cashing in on a new trend among filmgoers?

Some figures seem to indicate that Malaysians are moving from the staple of Hollywood, Bollywood and Hong Kong to something a little more exotic.The French embassy and Alliance Francaise, the French language and culture centre in Kuala Lumpur have jointly organised a film festival every year since 2002.The inaugural week-long screening attracted 960 viewers and, last year, the number reached 3,217.

"Our survey showed that at least half of all seats available during the festival were taken up."This shows that increasing numbers are willing to pay to watch a French film," says Catherine Feuillet-Decourcy, the embassy’s cultural, scientific and co-operation counsellor.

Despite the apparent predominance of English language films, almost half the films, television shows and trailers legally imported are non-English language films. In 2000, they accounted for 40 per cent of legal imports. The bulk of them were Mandarin, Cantonese, Tamil and Hindi films.At the time, however, only 21 films, trailers or TV shows were from rarer sources like France, Iran, Tibet, Japan, Korea and Vietnam, according to National Censorship Board’s statistics.This number has doubled since, reaching 42 films last year.

The source countries have grown too, now including Russia, Italy, Spain, the Philippines and Thailand.

There’s no telling how many pirated foreign language films are sold here but checks show a wide selection on offer with the genre depending on clientele — action and thrillers in the city centre and dramas, documentaries and romance in upper-middle class neighbourhoods.

While there may be rising interest in foreign language films, it is still a niche market, says Irving Chee, general manager of Golden Screen Cinemas, home to the International Screens which showcases award-winning, non-mainstream foreign language feature films.He declines to reveal the exact admission figures but says they account for only a small percentage of all screenings. Chinese, Japanese and Korean films do best, says Chee.

Several Iranian films have drawn the crowds, too.Malaysian audiences relate better to Asian culture and are more selective about films from Europe, he says."Some years, we do well and others we don’t but GSC has no intention of closing down International Screens."We believe the market will grow as Malaysia develops and people become more culturally aware."

He says GSC has made foreign language and art house films more accessible and viewing them a far more comfortable affair.

"We’ve created so much interest now, the pirates are following suit," says Chee.

These wily purveyors of stolen goods are a bane for establishments like GSC. Their costs are negligible — no expensive trips to film festivals and no big outlays for the films.And nary is there a drop of sweat over censorship which keeps many a film out of GSC’s International Screens.

They also compete with organisations like Kelab Seni Filem, set up 30 years ago to provide an alternative to commercial cinema.The club screens foreign language films for members at the HELP University College theatrette, among other places.

"Piracy is bad for this industry," says KSF president Wong Tuck Cheong, who has seen the club’s membership fall since the arrival of DVDs and VCDs.

"Unfortunately, we have to admit that it offers the viewer a huge range of titles that others aren’t able to and a new appreciation for the variety out there. That is tough to compete with."

Wong argues that while Malaysians are still a little wary of experimenting with their RM10 —the average cost of movie ticket or a pirated DVD — a growing number are discovering the world of foreign language films and falling in love.Many are college and university students or students of film studies who have moved on to other fields.They are becoming film- savvy and opening up to work from around Southeast Asia, Japan, Korea and Europe.The numerous film festivals held by embassies and foreign cultural organisations in Kuala Lumpur, international travel and study abroad have aided in this evolution.

Access to foreign language films has also begun to have an effect on local independent films with film makers working in the style of foreign directors they admire, adds Wong.The popularity of these films can also be attributed to the dozens of screenings organised by embassies and other organisations in Kuala Lumpur.

European nations come together to organise the European Film Festival, which last year, saw the screening of 25 films.The Spanish and Portuguese embassies, with Filem Negara Malaysia, have screened scores of films during the annual Ibero-American Film Festival. Spanish films are also showcased during the the annual Spanish film festival, at universities and other venues.The Goethe-Institut Kuala Lumpur works with Kelab Seni Film, the Animation Society of Malaysia and student film groups to hold screenings of German films.

These films are gaining attention as they offer viewers something other than the ordinary, says Feuillet-Decourcy.

"Through films the audience gets a glimpse of these far-flung countries, and for at least 90 minutes walks their streets with wonder."

WHAT THE FILM BUFFS SAY

NURUL SYATIRAH ABU SAFRAN, 24, assistant director at a television production company.Nurul Syatirah often watches all the international movies screened.

She keeps an eye on film festivals held throughout the year and her favourite film was the Motorcycle Diaries.Based on a true life story, it traces the adventures of two daring friends who leave their privileged backgrounds and hop on the back of a beat-up motorcycle for an exciting road trip across Latin America.It is often described as a touching and sensitive portrayal of a passage into self acceptance and awareness of the world, and lessons on inequality and poverty.

Inspired, Nurul Syatirah is planning a similar month-long trip through South America this year."I love these movies because they offer us a different view of things."

It’s also a good way to learn a new language."


AUDRA KESUMAWATI ROSLANI, 22, final-year undergraduate.

Audra watches two or three movies a month, or more during semester breaks.

"I find that Hollywood, Bollywood and Hong Kong movies tend to stick to a certain formula, making them almost predictable.

"There are only so many American teen flicks that one can take before we lose the ability to differentiate one from the other."

Audra says international films tend to touch on a wider spectrum of issues, open Malaysian viewers’ minds to things that are alien in our everyday lives.

"I have just watched Kekexili: Mountain Patrol, a documentary on Tibetan-antelope poaching. It was a real eye-opener on the battle to save a beautiful animal species.

"It has changed my outlook on such issues," she says.

Audra visits online forums to keep up with the latest in the scene and will watch a film despite bad reviews, if she likes the subject matter.

She believes independent and non-English language films are gaining a larger audience here because people want to be intellectually stimulated.


YUSMAN MOKHTAR, 25, diploma in theatre, National Arts Academy.

Yusman watches these films at the cinema, on DVD, at the HELP University College and is a regular film festival goer.He doesn’t necessarily prefer such films over the commercial fare but does get tired of the latter after a while."I don’t have the luxury of travelling around the world. So, in a way, I can get to know and ‘feel’ other people and cultures through these movies."Yusman says many art and non-English language films are available in the market, thanks to rising demand.A fan of films like Children of Heaven, Cinema Paradiso and La Vita e Bella, Yusman is also glad that the movies are now being screened on television.


SHAHRUL AZLI, 29, producer at Uniputra Productions.

Shahrul singles out the beautiful stories and superb cinematography as the main attractions.He cites the example of Zhang Yimou’s The Story of Qiu Ju, the tale of an indomitable peasant who rejects compensation money when her husband sustains a groin injury during an argument with a village official.Instead, she undertakes the daunting task of extracting a simple apology from the labyrinth of Chinese bureaucracy.He watches only one film a month and wishes he had more free time to catch a couple more.A movie-maker himself, Shahrul follows the works of directors, producers and scriptwriters he admires and occasionally picks up a title that has received rave reviews from film critics. "Having them screened in local cinemas also exposes the public to such films."

Read it here!

I'm baaackk :)

hello my little cabagges..sorry for not having updated my blog in yonks! haven't had much access to the internet since lightning struck my home pc *boohoo* tis now being repaired, so til then, its uni labs and travelling back n forth to my sisters place. to make matters worse, i've been elected as President of our final semester Public Relations Counselling Project..of all the luck! having to correspond with a million and one different people through e-mail and NOT have home internet access is b.a.n.a.n.a.s. i swear i can't remember life before the gloriousness of the internet came along. some mornings, i still switch on the pc and play a little solitaire..just to feel close to my pc. yep. but all is well now that school has started and i don't have the luxury of idle time. sigh.

anyways, pretty excited about our project. proposed a celeb book-reading session for pre-schoolers, and what started out as a humble one-day event has now blossomed into a full-fledged campaign! will elaborate further as more details have been confirmed, but for now the proposal is still being updated by the hour sooo..yeah.

oh you know who designed this ;)

in other news..got interviewed by New Sunday Times journalist through e-mail about a week back on foreign films and such. have yet to see it publish *bleh*

have another interview this Saturday at Petronas for something else. once again will elaborate when things have been confirmed (and no, its not a proper job thing hah!). will also have to meet up with the gallery owner of Galleri Iizu to confirm our book-reading session which will be held there. Details to be posted up soon..but do keep the 2nd of April free! k more updates coming, sorry if I haven't been able to meet up with some of you..soon I promise!!

"Being the wife of Diego is the most marvelous thing in the world. I let him play matrimony with other women. Diego is not anybody's husband and never will be, but he is a great comrade."

- Frida Kahlo

He came from the planet of Soy, that cool guy Kikkoman.

God bless the Japanese! came across a whole bunch of weird animated/video clips today..damn Japanese people rock! some of the stuff are pretty dated so you might have seen them already, but i totally love how i found Kikkoman again! and also "All your base are belong to us"..classic Engrish! anyway i'm putting this up as more of a bookmark reference for myself but if you have the time (or looking to kill time) do, do give these links a visit. thou shall not regret!

yo Kikkoman that ain't right yo

• Kikkoman (i LOVE this)
• All Your Base Are Belong To Us (the origins of Engrish)
• Japanese Matrix Ping-Pong (this is so original!)
• Zombo.com (this had Adib and I in stitches)
• Smurfette parties hard (proving Donnie Darko's theory wrong! Poppa Smurf yo dawg, uh huh!)
• We Come in Peace (deediditee..*geg*)

ok that be it for now. hope ya'll like these as much as i do *starts singing* show me...show youu..kikkomannng..kikkomanng *laughs at fish with legs*

i am fish with legs. no i am soy bottle. i am whatever u want me to be..baby, yeah.

of goatmen and paedophiles.

i am in loveeeeeeeeeee...yes in loveeeeee..with a goatmannnnnn *gets all dreamy-eyed*

small children not enough for you mr tumtum?

that curly hair, those floppy ears, the devil-like hooves..dammit even that hairy back works for him! yes i am talking about non-other than Mr Tumnus - the fawn from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe himself! Narnia certainly did not dissapoint! sure some bits at the beginning might've been abit stretchy for some, but I felt that Andrew Adamson did a great job of sticking to the original. watching it made me extremely happy to the extent of being overwhelmed coz it just brought back so many of my childhood memories *tears* that the minute i got back from the cinema i texted my sis in to go see it (ysee back in the day when we used to split up characters ie. Betty and Veronica, i was supposed to be Lucy and she Susan in this case). my fave scenes were everything with Tumnus (goes without saying) especially when Lucy first meets him, the Turkish Delight ones with Ice Bitch, Aslan and also the stone table scene. Oh and did you SEE the chemistry between Tumnus and Lucy..i tell you, that paedophilic goat can come knock hooves with me N.E. day ;)

Interested in getting some hooves for yourself? then give this site a visit Hooves-R-Us: How to build your own hooves

Anyway, here's a picture of Mr Handsome without all that fur and er...floppy things. quite droolsome ain't he?

James McAvoy

So yeah, i'm quite surprised that i haven't caught any of his previous movies..think i shall start with Wimbledon seeing how it's the most obvious one of the lot. ok enough of my childhood fantasies, i'm hungry. time for shiitake shrooms!

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. - C.S. Lewis

You poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole... back and forth... forever.

woish been awhile hasn't it! about time i started blogging again..but where oh where do i begin! well for starters, i have officially started my semester break and yes, that wretched piece of academic writing has been submitted as of 02 December 2005 (Friday)..whoopdedo!

which means i've finally got the time to catch up on my film-watching sessions as well as those books i've been meaning to read for yonks! after much putting off, i am only now (rather ashamedly) reading Memoirs of a Geisha which has been rotting on the shelves. i figure its first off in the list so that i finish it on time before the movie comes out sometime end of this year/early next year. bummer that there aren't any japanese in the main movie line-up. tsk. bookwise - so far, so good! its got me hooked, and i really like Nitta Sayuri's perspective on things. i know its abit ostentatious to liken myself to her (you can roll your eyes here), but it just gets me all in high spirits whenever i meet or hear of someone who sees things with the innocence a child's point of view. thats right folks, embrace your inner child! anyway, here's to hoping i won't be dissapointed by the ending.

film-wise, paid my faithful dvd man a visit this week and got Crash and Mountain Patrol. i've watched the latter and i have to say i quite like it. started off slow and i almost dozed off surprisingly halfway through out the show (to be fair, it was a sweltering hot day), but it was one of those films that left me feeling..well feeling something, i'm not quite sure what. amixture of sadness, anger at the unfairness of the world..and angry at fur-wearing fashionistas! yes i knew wearing fur was cruel to the animals, but i never quite imagined that for every poacher was someone trying to prohibit them out of the goodness and pureness of their hearts. i sound so storybook but its truee! WATCH this movie and you'll get what i mean. all those deaths..and for what..so some woman can come off looking lush and 'classy' in dead animals skin. pft. there are other ways of doing that missy.

click on picture to play jLo: Fur Bully from the Block

besides Mountain Patrol, also watched Maria Full of Grace (HBO original film about drug-'mules') which was also very good, and Miranda July's Me and You and Everyone We Know. wasn't too bad, but i guess i had some rather high expectations after seeing the coverage on CNN's entertainment section. there were some good bits tho (loved some of the quotes, the title of this post should give you a rough idea), buuttt..eh, didn't really do anything for me.

ok before u go rushing off to your dvd man, there's no nudity. you have been warned.

anyhoo, am excited about tomorrow..i'm watching the midnite show for the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe!!!!! and from the reviews i've read..it looks like its gonna be good! omg omg omg i so can't wait to see Aslan and Mr Tumnus..and even the White Witch!! is she gonna say "Turrkissshh deeeliggghttt..turkisshh deeligghhtt!"?? haha i'm sucha geek but who gives a shit.

the version i remember watching..good stuff!

ok back to the real world, still haven't got new year plans coz now i mite be going with Viv to Christmas Island for Christmas (yes, population 800 and no newspapers ive been told) for red crabs! and if that happens, then new years will have to be in KL. sigh. oh well, do let me know your plans! the good news is that everyone would be back in KL then..ah..lets see what drama should unfold this time around..eh?


I would love to believe in a universe where you wake up and don't have to to go to work and you step outside and meet two beautiful 18-year-old sisters who are also girlfriends and are also very nice people. - Me and You and Everyone We Know

Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!

i'm in a very quote-sy mood. channeling Alice in Wonderland today :) anyway, haven't got much time to blog..and by the looks of it, i prolly won't be blogging much either..not til after November. so for now, you'll just have to make do with some piccies!

Girl From Ipoh @ KLPAC, 11 November 2005.

Syat and I with Lee Swee Keong. Superb acting :)

With SmellyMelly..whutta lifesaver! <3

L-R: Leonard, Syat, Mel, Me, Anrie and Patrick

The Roslani Open House, 12 November 2005.

L-R: Eliza, Yong, Me, Nadia and Ian

youngest & eldest with the mommy :)

we look like little figurines! i swear this is a 100% candid

L-R: Kam, Eliza, Yong and I

Love this <3

our URTV shot :)

We obviously need to come up with more 'style' poses *rolls eyes*

The Belated Raya Thing.

first things first, Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Deepavali! I can't believe I didn't wish you guys earlier, been abit busy lah :) um..not many raya pics, see what i can dig up..

my little brat of a nephew but i still love him to bits :)

Raya this year was okay..dunno..everything just seem to whiz by so quickly! first day raya relatives came over in the morning followed by the usual convoy-ing to other relatives places.

with future benefactor *grin*

Later in the evening more people dropped by the house..a very busy day indeed for moi! Well at least now i know how it feels like to be the hostess with the mostest (y'see..i used to leave all the work for my sisters *teehee* unfortunately, everyone had their other family obligations this time around bleh)!

and to think my kids will have to make nice with these jokers..lol!

went to Ipoh the next day to visit Dad's side. again, spent better part of the day in the kitchen helping (more like making a nuisance of myself) out. gile there were soo many people! felt like a kenduri of sorts! we made asam laksa and laksa lemak. i had to scoop out smelly boiled fish from out of this hugeass pot, sliced a whole lotta limes and some other stuff *wipes sweat off from forehead* hey the limes WERE vital ok..no lime = no flavour :P

nishy nashy

yeeah..pretty much sums it! good raya lah overall, just expected more open houses this year. ah well. the last year i get duit raya too *boohoo*

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

Wednesday
spent (almost) the whole day with Dada my love!

- collected my cheque and personalized autographed Steve McCurry 'Potraits' book from Ogilvy.

Inset: For Audra, with best wishes Steve McCurry

is that you turning green? ;)

- headed to Bangsar for abit of window shopping.

- met up with the rest of the girls at Pelita for buka

- went to Starbucks Uptown for coffee with Dada while the rest of the girls went to Asia Cafe in Subang.

- Nadia and Ian joined us. had a look-see at what the Uptown night market had to offer since we haven't been before.

- chilled at Dada's place. watched some telly and laughed at some people. good stuff!

Thursday

- went to Subang Parade to look for (VERY last minute) Raya outfits. MAN have prices increased!! sigh.

- A little over a year ago, dad bought me an Apple iBook G4 for my birthday cum graduation present. came to about RM6000+ with a 20GB iPod. so it was all whoopee and confetti.

didn't even use it for the first half of the year. started to use it heavily when my bro-in-law gave me this Webbit contraption. realised the ibook was giving me abit of a problem (ie. the internet browser would just close by itself) but didn't think too much of it. fast forward to a month back..my ibook just refused to switch on so i sent it to the Mac shop in OU last week.
so today i got a call from this guy called Joe from the MacAsia service center. turns out they need to replace my motherboard. the damage? RM3000. the hell i was gonna pay that much..i just bloody got it!! FOUTRE APPLE! go tell all your friends..and your friends friends..Apple is SHIT. i mean the whole reason why I didn't mind splurging on a piece of white junk in the first place was because i expected the iBook to live up to the rave reviews it got..quality my foot! f!#$@!g ripoff!

Friday

- Adiboo's birthday! broke fast at Pearly's.

- Halloween thingamajig @ Salsa Havana. Sam (that's my instructor) got me my devil horns..so nice! had a smashing time :) even got a consolation prize from Glen - a bottle of wine! pity i don't drink (well not this month at least heh), so gave it to Viv.

Aisha, Me & Sam..i look like a snel!

Saturday

- spent the whole damn day at the salon (from 12pm - 6.40pm). and Mrs Leong persuaded me to get the latest color-design by her daughter Lisa (renowned L'Oreal hair colorist in KL) which she did for Amber chia. so now i look like a frikkin ahlian. BLEH! je regrette!

- joined parents for buka at the club. i hate standing and waiting for food. buffets are the bane of my existence.

Sunday

- went to Subang Parade again to get my outfit.

- went out for mamak dinner with Viv. realised that in all the 9 years we've known each other, we never ever went for a mamak session together!

- planned to go for a late nite movie at OU.

- upon arrival, saw the carnival beside OU and got all excited.

- went for carnival.

- spent RM10 on tokens which basically got us in for 2 rides. hah! wanted to check out the House of Horror but then it looked rather dodgy (scary carnie guy!) and since it was just us two gals..some other time perhaps :P was not too bad actually, just mind the loud fengtau music!

- had strawberry sundae, french fries and coke from McDs and chilled outside my house.

Will prolly be busy-er this coming week preparing stuf for raya (ie. peeling onions..coz that's all i'm good at heh). would have to sort out my room as well for the open house..bleh. can't wait for rayaaa..lemang and rendang people..wheee!

"I start to feel like I can't maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don't know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?.. I don't know the answer, I know only that I can't. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I've had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted."

Prozac Nation, Elizabeth Wurtzel.

woe is me.

bleh. going through my usual phase of anti-socialism. i'm in a rut.

oh come quick raya..perhaps all i need are some good raya choons. the hell did they go to?? i demand radio stations and tv channels to play more raya songs NOWW *searches for raya mp3s to get into the mood* i'm SO not feeling it this year. how shit is that?

fasting has been pretty crap as well. my biological clock is messed up..i sleep at unearthly hours and i wake up like way past noon..that's not good fasting! i'm sleeping waaay too much as well. and then i feel guilty coz my theses is not getting anywhere. can't help it, every proposal (well i've only submitted one thus far) needs some changes which in turn needs the dean's approval..which is hell coz i can only get back to him next week. this endless changing of methodology is not helping!! dada...i need a good bitching sessionnn :(

me on most days these days.

In other news, am missing Dewi (that's my sister for you unknowing folk). Anna came down with Alik and Alia today. Pearly dropped by with Adib...only you were not here! ok maybe playing raya songs was not a bright idea afterall. sigh. also looks like the London trip in Nov will not be happening as planned and is prolly a good thing too. I should prolly let the drama die down before visiting certain er..people. double sigh. oh well. next year, I promise..

Do not give in too much to feelings. An overly sensitive heart is an unhappy posesssion on this shaky earth .

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Thursday October 20, 2005
PM's wife dies after bout with breast cancer
From The Star Newsdesk

PUTRAJAYA: The Prime Minister's wife Datin Seri Endon Mahmood died at 7.55 am today at the Prime Minister's official residence in Putrajaya after fighting a long battle with cancer.
Endon, 64, breathed her last about 18 days after returning from undergoing a treatment for breast cancer in Los Angeles, United States.
She is survived by two children.



First it was Datuk Azmi Khalid's wife - Datin Yasmin Abdullah, a dear family friend. Now, it was our Prime Minister Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi's wife - Allahyarham Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood. Both succumbed to cancer.

Can't say we didn't see this coming though. Mi familia (being the skeptical medics that they are) predicted a while back that it didn't seem like long till she would be stopping the treatments. Once they heard she was leaving Los Angeles, it would only be a matter of time. I am pretty sure Pak Lah and family were well aware of this too. My heartfelt condolences goes out to them..

I first got news regarding the death of Malaysia’s First Lady – Arwah Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood, through an online friend. After hearing the news, I stared blankly at the screen for a good five minutes. My brain was articulating for words, but to no avail.

Almost mechanically I got up to my mother’s room and sure enough, the television set was showing solemn scenes from Seri Perdana. I sat down on the bed with my mother and we watched silently.

My dear friend Ifti prodded me to write an eulogy on Arwah to be sent to the Star newspaper seeing as to how I've had the privilege of preparing the PRIDE report (to which, I am sure she would not have seen seeing how she was in Los Angeles when it was completed) for her as well as having seen her in person while working for the PRIDE press conference in May 2005.
Ifti suggested I write on how Endon involved herself in so many activities - specifically PRIDE, how I remember her in PRIDE and my reflections, what her legacy will be- i.e. she'd be a role model for all VIP spouses to take up worthy causes, personal memories e.g. how she probably didnt end up seeing the report I wrote, focus on her breast cancer suffering etc.

I thought hey I could do that..I could say how inspiring and charismatic she was during my brief encounter with her. She cracked jokes and had such a calming persona to her. Had I not known she was ill, none would be the wiser. She carried herself so well, you wouldn't think she was a breast cancer victim.

The more I watched coverage on the day's processions, the many people interviewed on their thoughts and how she touched their lives..I realized, if I did write a tribute to Arwah..I would probably be unable to do justice to it. It would lack depth for one thing. I mean, who am I kidding..I barely knew her! well not more than the average Malaysian would know that's for sure.

So Ifti, I apologize. Your little scribe of a friend here will not be doing the piece :( I just feel that the article should mean something. As much as I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to have seen her in the flesh few months prior to her passing, it probably won't leave much of an impact on most anyway. It would probably be something I tell my grandkids, something personal for me, like finding a secret shop that sells vintage posters..okay i'm aware that I don't make sense right about now *sheepish grin* I guess what I'm trying to say is that somethings are just best left unpublished (and by unpublished I mean print!).

I will be looking forward to reading contributions in the papers over the next few days from people who were profoundly touched by Arwah as it would give me a greater sense of understanding to a lady who undoubtedly, lived everyday as if it were her last and accomplished many great things in her lifetime. Truly an inspiration to us all.

Rest in Peace

Allahyarham Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood

1940 - 2005

it had been requested of me to write in an article for my Uni newsletter based on my practical training experience. i managed to write this in under 3 hours. i know some of you may have read my previous entry regarding my internship, but i have decided to replace that entry with his one. seems abit more holistic and complete. hope you find it to be a good read!


OF INTERNSHIPS & CAREER CHOICES
By Audra Kesumawati Roslani

9 months ago..

My classmates and I were feeling the heat of having to select a company for our internship program, which was part of the Semester 5 syllabus. The pressure was particularly immense on my part, as I wanted to make sure I made the right choice. This was after all, the stepping stone towards my eventual career.

Do I specialize straight away into a corporate company? Select a government office? Or get the overall view of the industry by joining a general PR firm? So many questions! It was however, a no-brainer and I eventually settled for the latter, Ogilvy Public Relations Worldwide - a major international PR firm in Damansara, Kuala Lumpur.

Naturally, I was flabbergasted when I heard some of my peers mocking those of us who selected to work in proper PR firms.

“Why did they choose to work in PR firms? Don’t they know the amount of work they would have to do? I want to work in a place with the least hours so I have a longer holiday.”


A+ for attitude and enthusiasm, eh?


6 months ago..

The days leading up to my internship were a mixture of excitement, nervousness and the need to make a good lasting impression. I often found myself day-dreaming about corporate KL - the trendy building I was working at, the sleek beautiful people I saw walk in and out of those doors the few times I was there for interviews, the coffee sessions at Strudels and San Francisco Coffee in the lobby..ooh la la! Who cares if this was an unpaid internship, right?

My first day of work and I was a ball of nerves. Standing uncomfortably in my new work threads and heels (every single day for four months mind you, trés horrible!), I was introduced to everyone and shown to my desk complete with a computer and phone. There were four other interns at the time, all with shorter stints than mine.

The first week was miserable. I had absolutely nothing to do! There were no on-going events, and quite frankly, they had too many interns at the time to delegate what little work there was between all of us. I learned how to compile news clippings though. Hurrah!

Chatting with my classmates on MSN, I started getting upset that I was not getting as much exposure as most of them had received during the first week itself. That and having to adjust to the unforgiving work hours, I fell seriously ill for a week. I kid you not.


Great start..way-to-go Audra!


5 months ago..

By this time, I had graduated from the school of news clippings and had progressed on to more serious matters like operating the photocopier, fax and binding machines. I had it down to a T. I figured, well hey, if all does not go well with PR in the future, I could always operate a stationery shop, no?

Slowly but surely, the workload started to pile up as the other interns started leaving one by one and the peak period for events started to kick off. From working with underprivileged children, to rubbing shoulders with international celebrities, I was lucky enough to have covered a wide variety of events. In a nutshell, here’s a brief summary of some of the events I had the privilege of covering during my four month stint at Ogilvy PR.

i) Mead Johnson Nutritionals 100th Anniversary Celebration
Worked with two orphanages to fete 100 underprivileged children by handing them savings accounts of RM100 each in conjunction with Mead Johnson’s centennial celebration. The press conference and actual celebration were both held at the KL Hilton. The children loved it, the food was great and it was definitely a heartwarming experience to see the smiles on their faces. You could tell it was something they would remember for years to come.

ii) Ford Media Social
One of our clients – Ford Motors, has really good ties with the media because they regularly throw functions for the relevant media to maintain good relations, particularly with the automobile journalists/editors. So this was an okay function, just a little get together for the media with good food, drinks and games held at TGIF, The Curve. It was also a sort of soft launch for the new Ford Ranger.

iii) Nokia Pusat Majudiri Y Leadership Workshop
Nokia – another major client, worked on its corporate philantrophy by contributing towards the hard of hearing society – Pusat Majudiri Y. I worked with some hard of hearing individuals who were participating in the YMCA World Leadership Camp. We invited motivational speakers to come in and help them with leadership, grooming and presentation skills. It was interesting to see how one handles deaf individuals and I found the experience uplifting and inspirational, a good event and an eye-opener of sorts.

iv) An Evening with Steve McCurry and the Nokia N90 workshop
We (and when I say we, I really mean my consultant) managed to rope in Steve McCurry, the American photographer famous for his picture of the Agfhan “Girl with Green Eyes” (who made the cover of National Geographic in 1982) for the launch of the new Nokia N90. There were two separate events:

An Evening with Steve McCurry held at the Ritz-Carlton ballroom, was organised for enthusiasts in the trade, as well as journalists and editors to share McCurry's experiences and listen to him elaborate on how he came about taking various pictures.

Steve McCurry

The Steve McCurry Nokia N90 Workshop was held at Chinoz on the Park in KLCC for a very select group of media. McCurry gave them a few pointers on what made a good picture and later demonstrated what could be done with the N90. Each member of the media was then presented with an N90 phone and given time to take pictures at the KLCC park and indoors with the N90. The pictures were then printed out for McCurry to decide on a winner.

v) PRIDE Art Exhibition and the Walk With PRIDE Gala Charity Dinner

Pink Ribbon Deeds (PRIDE) is an organization chaired by Puan Azrene Abdullah (daughter-in-law of Prime Minister Dato’ Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi) and patroned by Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood.with the aim of raising breast cancer awareness.

PRIDE was perhaps the project that I am most proud of and would like to consider my ‘baby’ in terms of having worked on it from Day 1 until its execution. I was the only intern working on this project with one senior consultant to manage a steady flow of media coverage three months prior to the event, which meant organizing interviews, press conferences, numerous press calls and sending constant press release updates. I even had the honours of preparing Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood, Puan Azrene Abdullah and Datuk Michelle Yeoh’s questions and answers sheet.

An art exhibition was held at the Residences at Ritz-Carlton to raise funds for the cause prior to the dinner. Works included art by breast cancer survivors as well as more renowned artists. Lorraine Hahn of CNN and the Pointer Sisters were among the international celebrities who were present for the event.

Lorraine Hahn

The next day was the actual Walk With PRIDE Gala Charity Dinner which saw the likes of Jackie Chan, the Pointer Sisters, local celebs such as Sheila Majid, Bernard Chandran, Camelia, Shazfinas, the Malai sisters and Anita Sarawak gracing the event. Shamser and Lorraine Hahn were the emcees. Ms Cherie Blair QC was supposed to have made an appearance based on the earlier press conference but due to the recent turn of events, was unable to attend. Each seat was priced at RM10,000.00. A small price to pay to have celebrities and ministers as dining company, and for a very good cause at that!

The Pointer Sisters

Post-event, I compiled a report to be presented to Datin Paduka Seri Endon, which was met with much satisfaction and enthusiasm from my consultants.


A month ago..

What..I was done? Already? Just as I was getting the hang of it too. It was a bittersweet experience, really. For one, I was glad that I could finally get my eight hours of sleep time back. And of course, my feet were relieved too. I was however, slightly disappointed that corporate KL was not what it was hyped out to be.

Don’t get me wrong. I met and learned a lot from people in the industry. I owe an immense amount of gratitude to a certain Ms. Tham Choy Lin for having been more than just a consultant teaching me the ropes of PR and journalism. She was also a confidante when it came to my future qualms regarding my career choices.

The reality of working life hit me like a tonne of bricks. Did I really see myself doing a lifetime of this? How self-fulfilling would it be? Coming from a family of doctors, I felt miniscule. Would I make a difference? Could I save the world? Those old questions I had before I started work were being replaced by more complicated and detailed ones, and the questions only kept growing and evolving with each passing day.

You may think that this is just aimless rambling from a confused twenty-something, but I believe I am not the only one stuck at this crossroad. Many of my peers have these same questions and fears.

I have spent many an hour pondering about what I had to offer based on my skills and interests. And suddenly, it all makes sense. The beauty of PR is that it is applicable anywhere and everywhere. If you are having doubts and think you may have made the wrong choice, fret not - it is not the end of the world. With PR, you could work in a hospital, a dance academy, a TV station, a ministry, a fashion house – for the lack of a better phrase; the world really is your oyster.

What I’m trying to say is, take everything you do into consideration. From your extra-curricular activities right down to your third language degree requirement, never make an uneducated decision. I now see PR as the stepping stone to eventually doing front line work in a particular organization that I currently have my mind set on. Obviously I would need to equip myself with other necessary qualifications before I get there, but at least it is work in progress for now.


At least, that’s one question put to rest.



Idealism is what precedes experience, cynicism is what follows.

David T. Wolf (1943)

It was a smoky, sensual, pulsating night out at a Cuban bar for the audience of Bar At Buena Vista. Keeping the crowd on their toes were 18 legendary musicians from four of Cuba’s most famous acts. FARIDUL ANWAR FARINORDIN writes.

CARLOS Delgado Bustamente was right when he said that a hotel ballroom was “perfect for the show”.The narrator and company manager of Bar At Buena Vista — the much-respected ensemble featuring some of Cuba’s legendary vocalists, musicians and dancers — was drawing comparisons with theatre halls the troupe had performed in during the Asia-Pacific leg of its international tour.

“Normally the show is held in seated auditoriums where people can’t get up and dance because of the regulations (like the fire escape routes shouldn’t be blocked),” he said, shortly after the show’s Press conference recently.But where Cuban music and genres like the rumba, mambo, cha-cha, guaracha are concerned, the absence of dancing is akin to having an opera without lyrics.

Sexy, seductive and sensual, Cuban music is rich with poetic beauty and understated elegance. Even the most rhythmically-challenged individual would be tempted to move to the beat.

ELECTRIFYING: 'Barman' Lucus (in white) and singer Vera (kneeling,centre)

That’s why, despite strict theatre regulations in various venues around the world, “the audience always breaks the rules at the end of the show; they get up and dance,” Bustamente added. Such is the alluring beauty of Cuban music.But no rules were broken at the spacious Hilton Kuala Lumpur ballroom where the performance was held as the RM95 admission price was for standing room only. There were no regulations against drinking and smoking inside the venue.


The glamorous-looking crowd milled about, checking out who was wearing what and wondering if he or she had what it took to set the dance floor on fire. But dance they did. Bustamente probably didn’t expect so much enthusiasm from the audience but during the intermission, the venue turned into a dancing marathon with couples showing off their dancing skills and stamina (or the lack of it).

Oh, it was so inspiring. Salsa dance instructors would have been proud to see their students, with TV crews around to capture the moves on film. Never mind if hair-yanking and pouty lips were NOT part of the dance.

“Cuban dance is about passion and poetry. Sometimes, it’s also about sex. It’s an erotic dance but still elegant and sophisticated because it is about the courting process between a man and a woman,” Bustamente said.

But here, a courting process it wasn’t. Somehow, there was only a fine line between elegant artistry and inflated egos. The crowd was too juiced up after seeing the 50-something Eric Turro Martinez and partner Doreyle “Mora” Betharte locked in a passionate embrace on stage.

Martinez and Betharte are among the four surviving dancers specialising in “son” (an age-old Cuban dance believed to be the root of the more popular salsa. The pair were simply awe-inspiring, with tricky movements that called for a perfect sense of balance.

But the main star of the show was 87-year-old vocalist Reynaldo Creagh. One of the founding members of the renowned Cuban musical ensemble Vieja Trova Santiagera, his heartfelt and earnest performances sent chills down my spine.

Creagh, who specialises in “trova” (a form of Cuban traditional singing), belted out Dos Gardenias, a song about love and flowers, written by a female composer called Isolina Carillo.

In an interview with him earlier, he explained: “It would be unfair to tell you what the song was all about. I don’t know where (the songwriter) Carillo got her inspiration from. The song is about two flowers and love, and she made her artistic connection.

“I am not sure if Carillo received the flowers or she sent them to the man (whom she fancied). But that’s what the song’s about,” he said cheekily, with a Cuban cigar between his fingers.

Indeed, the oldest member of the group charmed his audience with his endearing personality and wit.In between his performances, he sat on his rocking chair on the stage, enjoying his cigars.

“It has always been my dream to come here. I feel so privileged,” he told the cheering crowd during the show, walking stick in hand, before belting out his second song El Paralytico which he dedicates “to all the lovely women in the audience”.

El Paralytico is written by Cuban songwriter Miguel Matamoros specially for Creagh. Towards the end of the slow-tempo tune, the lyrics go: “suelta la muleta y el baston, y podras bailar el son” (“put down that stick and get up and dance”).

Which was exactly what he did. He threw his walking stick and started to dance — none of those fancy movements, just slow grooves that got the crowd really, really wild. Creagh was a joy to watch. Creagh’s secret to good health and vitality? “Cigars, rum and women,” he answered. And not necessarily in that order.

Creagh’s charm was perhaps matched by Siomara Avilla Valdes Lescay (“I’m old but sexy — with me, you can eat in or take away”), the only female vocalist in the show.

Dubbed the “Cuban diva”, she was the star in the Academy Award-nominated documentary Buena Vista Social Club and is one sizzling mama.

She performed a string of power-packed tunes, including Perdon (written by Pedro Flores), Del Son Al Son (Potilo de la Cruz) and Por Soy Cubano (Jose Ramon Sanchez). Lescay’s performance was all unbridled passion. Another vocalist in the show was Leo Vera, dubbed “Cuba’s nightingale” who, at 38, is the youngest singer in this ensemble.

Other musicians include Julio Padron, Carlos Gonzales, Barbara Lucila Ferre Sanchez, Jorge Boulet Valdes and Ricardo Munoz Martinez.

Bar At Buena Vista is essentially about Creagh and the other legendary “Cuban grandfathers of music”, namely, 81-year-old multi-instrumentalist Maracaibo and pianist Maetsro Rubalcaba, 78, dubbed “the Hands of Gold”. They all grew up with legendary Cuban musician Ibrahim Ferrer.

The show, said Bustamente, is dedicated to the memory of the Grammy Award-winning Ferrer ((“Ferrer used to earn a living shining shoes”), who passed away in August at age 78.

“They were very close friends for almost 60 years,” Bustamente said, “so you can imagine how sad it was when Ferrer was gone.”

Narrated by Bustamente, the show at the ballroom included anecdotes from the renowned Cuban barman Arturo Lucas, who used to serve drinks to Hollywood legends such as Marilyn Monroe and Marlon Brando. He now runs a late-night drinking haven for Havana’s musicians.

Comprising 18 members, Bar At Buena Vista is a combination of four of the largest critically acclaimed shows to come out of Cuba in the last 50 years: The Buena Vista Social Club, Vieja Trova Santiagera, Cubanism and Afro-Cuban Allstars.

The songs performed in this two-hour-plus show included Homenaje A Ruben Gonzalez, Buena Vista, Changui Al Reve, Pibtatelos Labios Maria (which displayed Turro in a jaw-dropping dance sequence with three women), Jazz-Julito, Mi Son Maracaibo and Por Eso Soy Cubano.

Of the show, Bustamente said: “We invited the stars from all these other shows and built on the idea of telling the history behind the culture, traditions and lifestyles of the Havana bar society back in the ’40s and ’50s.” One of the that cultural elements at that time was the Cuban dance “son”.

me with the luvly Vivi and Aisha (my instructor!)

i went! i went!! yes uncles and aunties, i was privileged enough to have gone for the Bar at Buena Vista on Monday. unfortunate that the they came to Malaysia after the passing on of the great Ibrahim Ferrer and Compay Segundo. made my week nonetheless :)

Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, andmarked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicatedby five (or more) of the following:

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal orself-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternatingbetween extremes of idealization and devaluation

3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex,substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilatingbehavior covered in Criterion 5.

5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria,irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

7. chronic feelings of emptiness

8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper,constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms


Diagnostic Features

The essential feature of Borderline Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (Criterion 1). The perception of impending separation or rejection, or the loss of external structure, can lead to profound changes in self-image, affect, cognition, and behavior. These individuals are very sensitive to environmental circumstances. They experience intense abandonment fears and inappropriate anger even when faced with a realistic time-limited separation or when there are unavoidable changes in plans (e.g. sudden despair in reaction to a clinician’s announcing the end of the hour; panic of fury when someone important to them is just a few minutes late or must cancel an appointment). They may believe that this "abandonment" implies they are "bad." These abandonment fears are related to an intolerance of being alone and a need to have other people with them. Their frantic efforts to avoid abandonment may include impulsive actions such as self-mutilating or suicidal behaviors, which are described separately in Criterion 5.

Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder have a pattern of unstable and intense relationships (Criterion 2). They may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, is not "there" enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will "be there" in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternately be seen as beneficent supportsor as cruelly punitive. Suck shifts often reflect disillusionment with a caregiver who nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected. There may be an identity disturbance characterized by markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self (Criterion 3).

There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self-image, characterized by shifting goals, values, and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values, and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a self-image that is based on being bad or evil, individuals with this disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of meaningful relationship, nurturing and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations.


Individuals with this disorder display impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (Criterion 4). They may gamble, spend money irresponsibly, binge eat, abuse substances, engage in unsafe sex, or drive recklessly. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder display recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior (Criterion 5). Completed suicide occurs in 8%-10% of such individuals, and self-mutilative acts (e.g., cutting or burning) and suicide threats and attempts are very common. Recurrent suicidality is often the reason that these individuals present for help.

These self-destructive acts are usually precipitated by threats of separation or rejection or by expectations that they assume increased responsibility.Self-mutilation may occur during dissociative experiences and often brings relief by reaffirming the ability to feel or expiating the individual’s sense of being evil. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder may display affective instability that is due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days) (Criterion 6).

The basic dysphoric mood of those with Borderline Personality Disorder is often disrupted by periods of anger, panic, or despair and is rarely relieved by periods of well-being or satisfaction.These episodes may reflect the individual’s extreme reactivity troubled by chronic feelings of emptiness (Criterion 7). Easily bored, they may constantly seek something to do. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder frequently express inappropriate, intense anger or have difficulty controlling their anger (Criterion 8). They may display extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness, or verbal outbursts. The anger is often elicited when a caregiver or lover is seen as neglectful, withholding, uncaring, or abandoning. Such expressions of anger are often followed by shame and guilt and contribute to the feeling they have of being evil.

During periods of extreme stress, transient paranoid ideation or dissociative symptoms (e.g., depersonalization) may occur (Criterion 9), but these are generally of insufficient severity or duration to warrant an additional diagnosis. These episodes occur most frequently in response to a real or imagined abandonment. Symptoms tend to be transient, lasting minutes or hours.The real or perceived return of the caregiver’s nurturance may result in a remission of symptoms.

Associated Features and Disorders Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder may have a pattern of undermining themselves at the moment a goal is about to be realized (e.g., dropping out of school just before graduation; regressing severely after a discussion of how well therapy is going; destroying a good relationship just when it is clear that the relationship could last). Some individuals develop psychotic-like symptoms (e.g., hallucinations, body-image distortions, ideas of reference, and hypnagogic phenomena) during times of stress. Individuals with this disorder may feel more securewith transitional objects (i.e., a pet or inanimate possession) than in interpersonal relationships. Premature death from suicide may occur in individuals with this disorder, especially in those with co-occurring Mood Disorders or Substance-Related Disorders. Physical handicaps may result from self-inflicted abuse behaviors or failed suicide attempts. Recurrent job losses, interrupted education, and broken marriages are common. Physical and sexual abuse, neglect, hostile conflict, and early parental loss or separation are more common in the childhood histories of those with Borderline Personality Disorder. Common co-occurring Axis I disorders include Mood Disorders, Substance-Related Disorders, Eating Disorders (notably Bulimia), Posttramatic Stress Disorder, and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder also frequently co-occurs with the other Personality Disorders.


i need help.

Article 1:
Dumbass of the Week? Man Burned When He Uses Lighter to Check Fuel Tank - So, the dump truck you drive for the construction company has a faulty fuel gauge. How do you check to see how full your tank is? Look inside, right? What if it's dark down there? No flashlight, no problem! That's what police say Scott Allen, 38, did before accidentally lighting himself on fire last week. According to police, Allen suffered second-degree burns to his face, chest and right arm when he used his cigarette lighter to look into the tank, but the lighter ignited the fumes. Ssaid Det. Raymond Thomas of the Arson/Bomb Squad, "For whatever reason he couldn't find a flashlight so he used a cigarette lighter. The vapors caught fire and lit him on fire." (Newsday)


Article 2:
Sep 27, 3:52 PM EDT
Cuffed Man Jumps in River, Then Swims Back
CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) -- A man arrested for allegedly breaking into a Cross Lanes store broke free from deputies and jumped into the Kanawha River, only to come back when he apparently realized he would not get far because his hands were handcuffed behind his back.
Deputies waited for him on the riverbank and took him into custody again, according to a criminal complaint filed by Kanawha County Sheriff's Deputy J.R. Powell.
David Douglas Griffy II, 23, of Cross Lanes was arrested around midnight Sunday. Police believe he smashed the Dollar General store window with a tire tool so another man could steal cold medicine used to make methamphetamine.
He was charged with breaking and entering and fleeing deputies, both felonies. He was being held in the South Central Regional Jail on Tuesday on a $45,000 bond.


Information from: The Charleston Gazette, http://www.wvgazette.com

i had an interesting nite on MSN tonight. an uncalled for argument with a good friend and a session with another friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend who apparently broke up because her parents don't think he's good enough for her, when in actual fact, she'd found someone else two weeks before. go figure. anyway, came up with some pretty good points. well i reckon..you know i'm pretty delusioned into thinking i'm so-called deep and profound..so just layan la ok ;)

1) the thing about guys that i don't get. guys are always going on about oh i'm gonna be rich and then all the girls will want me. but then when they actually do get girls, they start bitching about how they're all materialistic and shit. or she doesn't really love me, she just loves my money. oh suck it up loser. you get a good girl who isnt materialistic..somehow she's just not good enough for you right? just a thought.

lets just say i've had the "privilege" of going out with a few so-called high society boys (or so they'd like to think *rolls eyes*) and yeah at first they're all like oh you're so nice and unmaterialistic like some girls i know.

but lets face it..

high society boys like showing off

and if you have a high maintenance gf, all the more reason to show off right? "oh i had to spend this much on her bday present.."

"complaining" to make others go..oooh...he's got the luxury of spending that much dosh. so you see, the world isn't fair. but hey, what you gonna do about it right?

2) i know a lot of people dont get me, and i dont blame them either. but its exactly the reason why i'm not the most social of people (for most of the time anyway) and choose not to be concerned with keeping up with the joneses. it's a question of how you view the world, and i find a lot of people just dont have the capability of thinking outside the box. everyone's so self involved, it's sad really. not to mention the wealth of unoriginality - every other person the replica of the next. so apparently malaysia has the most amount of beautiful women per area based on some claim prolly made by some perve of a tourist sometime last year. so yeah pretty girls aplenty, but personality zilch? c'mon people, where's the sense of individuality? there's more to life than the next party, the next shopping spree and the color pink.

look. the purpose of this blog is not to offend, but it is, after all, what is is - a bitchin' blog in every sense of the word. angry at the world and screaming it out to make a difference, only to come up as more of a muffle than anything else.

do not take offense, and do not take me seriously.


..after all, why listen to a walking contradiction?


There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmited into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.

Pearl Buck (1892-1973)

it's been awhile, hasn't it? and boy have things changed since the last time i blogged back at xanga. new blog, new leaf? nah to be honest i just got tired of the old layout.

so how has turning 22 changed me? amazingly, i think it's safe to say that i've grown up tremendously in the past year. the non-existent relationship, the array of nonsensical boys that i've gone out with, the 4-month internship at OgilvyPR, the new friends i've made, the new hobby, the new outlook on life, the ability to feel comfortable with the person that i have become.

aiyo i sound so deep fried kan? :)

do i know what i want to do in life just yet? nope. my "life-long plans" and "ambitions" change faster than you can say chattanaoogachoochoo. but that's the exciting part isn't it? venturing into the unknown.

had this discussion with mom a few nights back. i was mentioning something along the lines of how PR didn't give me the self-satisfaction i'd expected. i mean i figure, you put so much effort into an event, often times multiple events at the same time, and i swear you work 25 hours a day, 8 times a week just to make sure everything runs smoothly right. so you'd think once your event finishes without major glitches, and you generate all that publicity..you'd get that buzz..like oh, i was responsible for that and feel all schmaltzy in the end. and i guess to a certain extent i did, but it sure didn't blow me away like i thought it would. and that's just four months in the industry. do i really see myself doing this for a living?

i've come to the conclusion that people in PR either

i) do it for the "glamness" of it all (trust me, its not very. yeah you get to go for the fancy events you organize. but novelty wears off after awhile. especially when it comes to me, i get bored..and fast)

ii) seem pretty content with the life they're stuck in. like they don't see the bigger picture. but you know i think this applies to most people anyways. well heck, they seem happier than i do..so they must be doing something right no?

which leads me to my next point. a friend of mine mentioned to me once ( after a bitching session about how miserable & depressed i was - with good reason naturally ;p ), the smartest people are often the most unhappy. amen to that! i wish to God i didn't think too much about everything. and sometimes i can't help but think..a simple mind isn't a bad thing to have at all!

think about it (here i go..*exhale*) simple minds, take things as they come. and not like a day to day thing, more like minute to minute. they go to work, come back to their loved ones - end of day 1. tomorrow's another day. it's routine, but heck they're not complaining? steady income, security..i mean really, the necessities.

the problem is when you think. mix that with pride (something which i think i have a little too much of, it's gotta be bad for me somehow) and that's a recipe for sleepless nights, headaches, heartaches..you get the idea.

my dilemma:

working in a PR/corporate firm? the hours are crazy, the stress and pressure is immense, 80% of the people in the industry are horrible. corporate KL = not for me. yet why is it that when i envision myself 10 years from now, all i see is me in that sleek black gucci suit. driving that oh-so-sexy beemer. and i think..that's it dammit!

then you have the core of me. i'm supposed to save the world, y'see. i'm all about volunteering and saving the children and animals. why children you say? why not men and women? well my friend, because women are bitches and men are sluts..so i figure lets save the kids before it's too late, no? So the plan is to work in the UN/Unicef. Bye cavalli, hermes and ungaro.

Then of course there was the genius of a plan to..get this..join the Ministry for Arts, Culture & Heritage..and some day run for minister. The scary part? Everyone seemed to take me pretty seriously when I proposed it. I mean c’mon, that has got to be delusional on my behalf at some level right? Sure I love arts..i definitely appreciate culture..but politics? *shakes head*

mom was saying if i was so unhappy, it still wasn't too late to start off in a totally new direction, and go back to one of my childhood dreams of becoming a marine biologist. ah. the sun, the sea and sand. extremely tempting. i'd be doing something i love, away from ignorant city folk, i get to swim with manta rays..life is good right? wrong. i'd prolly miss the city life after awhile. not to mention by the time i start work, my peers would all be halfway (or almost, or something) to making their first million (ringgit or otherwise!).

help!


The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)