Melayu by Usman Awang
Translated by Audra Roslani

Melayu are a perspicacious lot
Mischief embroidered jokes
Excessive benevolence
Rudeness still respectful
Even lies are still polite
Smartly they ingratiate with courteous gestures of the hand

Melayu is courageous even when wrong
Shrinking in fear for the truth
Promises kept in stomach
Always broken at the lips
Traditions, they may let demise
As long as their children give rise

Melayu in the Peninsula has wide implications:
The Javanese are Melayu, the Buginese are Melayu,
The Banjarese also called Melayu,
The Minangkabau definitely Melayu,
The Achehnese descendents are Melayu,
The Jakun and Sakai, aboriginal Melayu,
Arab and Pakistani, all Melayu,
The Mamak and Malbari absorbed as Melayu,
Even the converts are defined as Melayu
(After circumcision of the whatchamacallum)

In the past
Melayu were great seafarers
Paving the way for their yesteryears
Across the vast regional borders
Shame today, it is lost on the youngsters

Melayu are rich in philosophy
A heritage of proverb and analogy
Roots of kindness laced with ability
Repository of wisdom, sea of colloquy

Unfortunate, that the Melayu cheers loudly
Exorbitantly enthusiastic with festivities
Whilst villages are being pawned
Strips of paddy fields left the size of a span
Pieces of land sold easily

Despite possessing wells
Their hands still clutching the rope
While others reach for the pail
Thrice over, the banana tree bears fruits
Yet the Melayu still dreams

Universities, they have attended
Yet they engage in trade from home still
Fighting the Melayu way
Dueling in pantun
Defiance in smiles
Anger in silence
Belittle, never kowtowing
Boasting, never patronising

The Melayu character rejects disputes
Their loyalty and patience know no boundaries
But when infuriated, concealed
Enemies sought to the ends of the earth
If not held by the horns, pulled by the ears
Dignity and religion never to be insulted
The greatness of their amok spares no foe


To make peace the Melayu way is most divine
For their kinships are pure
An apology expressed, always answered
A hand extended always received
Wounds acquired, no longer scarred

The kindness of Melayu has no comparison
Everything they own they would offer
Thus the birth of an allegory;
The trader walks past and rice is boiled
The husband returns hungry but is not served
The monkey in the jungle is breastfed
The child on the lap dies, deprived.

How does the 21st century Melayu
Still stoop bashfully?
Never be afraid to break taboos
If taboos obstruct progress;
Never withdraw from prohibition
If confident of the truth;
Never shy away from expressing confidence
If there is conviction in justice

Emerge as a wise society
Holding the rope, holding the pail
Owning economies, creating cultures
Becoming masters of an Independent land

The Louis Vuitton Audra bag

SO thanks Syat for pointing out the existence of an LV Audra Bag - seriously I don't know my designer bags, alasss a fashion outtkaasssttt! *gasssp* can't say i'm a big fan of the design, triangular bags don't quite do it for me, but hell i might just eat my words one day. and the coloured monogram design kinda killed it for me once Petaling St started churning out replicas like hotcakes and a gazillion aunty-types started hanging them at their elbow-arms while doing the mall-shuffle. pft. the one thing i did like was the quote that came from the article though, "You’ve made it in this world if you have a Louis Vuitton bag named after you." yeah, thanks Ma! ooooooooooh who am i kiddin, this bag would make a sweet present, so hey don't say i never ask for anything ;)

how the mighty have fallen!

there's a saying. a woman's strength is in her silence.

well, I'd like to add on.

a man's big mouth is his biggest vice.

just got news in from KL last night. O, how the mighty have fallen! i used to think the world about you. you were larger than life. how funny it is that when you're in like/love/lust with someone you see everything through rose-tinted glasses.

but now. now, it just looks like you're all up in yourself. submerged in your own glory. don't want to keep in touch for fear of giving ME hope?? nigga pleasee..does it LOOK like I'm having a tough time?? dude where do you get off by giving yourself so much credit. you must think you're gods gift to women right? well maybe for the brainless half-bred twats you seem to like so much. yeah the ones who can't think for themselves you know the type - all tits and no brains. the one's that NEED to idolise and grovel on the path you walk on. Moi? je suis désolé. I prefer to be hero-worshipped myself..so this? this isn't going to work.

goodnight and goodluck Zero.

Sophie's 21st Birthday Bash, KL Summer 2006
just got these pictures from Sophie's facebook..yeahh! Sophie's birthday dining at Bukit Damansara over the summer.

figuring out our seating arrangements

with Mr-I-dropped-out-of-biz-school-in-London-to-be-a-full-time-model.

Kevin, Audra, Joey and Uncle Kamaruddin's phat photography skills

cheesy grins everrybodeh

innocently walking to the pool

lazing by the hot tub

..and IN she goes!

Christina Aguilera Back to Basics Tour @ Wembley Arena, London (29 November 2006)

turns out, Alex's cousin Monique has been Christina's dancer for eight years now (you would've seen her in some of the videos) and as luck would have it, she had two tickets for the show on Wednesday and Alex was kind enough to take me as his guest!

so we get there, and we were supposed to collect the tickets at the Guest Box Office. as I ripped open the envelope with Alex Trejo written on it, I gasp and squeal as I see two VIP tags in there.. could it be? would I actually meet Christina Aguilera?

we queue up to get some merchandise - I buy a SkinnyT and poster for myself, and an engraved pocket mirror for Hana, just in case I DO see Mrs Bratman, I would have something for her to sign on. I stuff my coat into the plastic bag with the SkinnyT at the bottom and leave it at the coat room for 2 quid and a 1 pound tip.

we went backstage with Monique for awhile and she introduced us to a couple of the other dancers. we were told we could go anywhere with the passes but Alex and I were hungry so we headed for the restaurant upstairs and by the time we were finished the show had started.

the opening act was some unheard of local band with one guy on a double bass and the other on percussion.

Oh Mother

Christina's show was really good! She kicked things off with Ain't No Other Man all dressed in a white suit and her dancers and musicians all in white as well. I say its good because there were plenty of props, wardrobe changes (all by Cavalli mind you) and she mostly sang material from her new album (which I LOVE by the way!) and even the remixes of Come On Over and What A Girl Wants were so nice! SO nice! and I love the themes she used, the whole circus act, boudoir babe..I like the way you think Aguilera ;) click here for more pictures

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the greatest show

aguilera the star performer!

dirrrty..i love the carousel!

Hurt

Lady Marmalade

after the show, we went backstage again but were told to wait in the 'VIP' room which basically just had lots of beverages, booze, and snacks. we hung out with the wife of the guitarist and another dancer who was just reuniting with his long lost cousin..what a sweet story! Monique came later but it looked like they were all going out so we didn't get to meet Christina..boo..


to make things worst.. by the time we left backstage, the arena was empty and the coat room was locked. we went to the lost and found and the funny thing is when the lady passed the bag to me, she said, " this is all I have," which I thought was rather fishy. sure enough, when we checked the bag.. my skinnyT was gone! GONE! muthafucks. I was on the verge of throwing a fit when Alex said to just get a new one. I wasn't gonna blow another 22 quid on the shirt but he kindly got it for me. Thanks Alex, you've been too too kind!

so we headed back after. overall it was a good night. it was deffo a good show, pure entertainment value and even if I had to pay for it I think it woulda been money well spent. deffo better than the BEP and PCD concerts that I've been to this year! Christina Aguilera is one helluva performer and kudos to her for being smart enough to wear underwear..viva la Christina!

random thoughts..

i feel like i'm on an all-expenses paid vacation, with a weekly agenda. i write essays that can never be wrong for it's subjective. i have no exams. classes are once a week and i hang out with foreign kids - it's like a prolonged stay at a youth hostel.

he is the sweetest. he brings me medicine and buys me food and a cookie for i am ill.

why is it that we take things for granted, but the minute there is competition for it, we want it just for the sake of winning.

this tomato soup Therym made is loverly.

i translate poetry that is mundane in its source, but the minute it's translated into the english - i have the ability to transport white skinned people into a different world. it's magic.

Hana makes me so happy :)

why is it that i'm not physically attracted, but i find myself thinking of him every single minute when he isn't around.

why are people so selfish.

why does everyone leave.

it's new years.. already?


my eyes are on fire.

it's been a good year.

sharks. predators. fish.

chips.

the Proud Galleries @ Camden and an unfortunate event! 24 November 2006

Cheski and I met Hana, Honza, Alex and Karyn at Camden Town which is my favourite, favourite place in London because it is goth, punk and artsy fart central (where i got my corset from). seriously, this place just exudes personality and individuality..i could just come and people watch here anyday man, anyday. its funny, while i was there yesterday it just hit me, how when i visited Camden in May with my parents..what i said was, - i want to live here. i want to work in London. that's how much i fell in love with the culture in Camden. of course it was all words then, and who knew that i would be back so soon. It’s so cool it’s sick.

so last night was interesting..but fun for the most part. We quite randomly went to a club/bar called the Proud Galleries which was cleverly tucked on the top floor of some building in Camden (thanks Cheski, you are.. officially cool now). The interior was well nice, very spacious, with the opened bed chambers at the sides, comfy sofas in the center, huge newpapers prints on the side, the 50s inspired waitresses, the dim chandeliers, splashes of red everywhere, plasma TVs with indie films and weird Japanese anime, two oddly placed horses and deer heads everywhere and a live burlesque-ish group performing. It was just awesome. And the crowd was well nice too. Not upper crust snobs.. but like proper artsy people which was fun to watch. There were those dressed in mod attire, Victorian inspired, or just plain kookie. I like how none of it seems pretentious. Everyone’s just doing their own thing, expressing without the fear of looking dense.

The six of us felt really underdressed coz we thought we were just going to some regular pub. But it was cool, we were the 6 grungy, shabby international students – Hana our little miss hippie with her cigarette smoking and dancing, me the token Asian, Honza the cool silent one, Karyn the crazy NewYork-ian, Alex the kookie American sure enough of his masculinity to walk around with his hair tied up in 7 bunches courtesy of moi, and Cheski our skinny little English muffin with his electro blue jacket.


Apparently there were a couple of celebs there as well, but only Cheski knew coz he’s BRIT’ishh. Well nice! Drinks were pretty pricey though, and I am deffo not going out this weekend. So by the time we left, there was a huge queue outside trying to get in and they were charging them to get in. so suffice to say, we felt uber cool. Haha. We’re lame. Yeah. More pictures here

we officially LOVE camden!

Cheski and his 'celebrity' pal

Alex looking sharp with the hairstyle i gave him :)

chillinnnn

HONZOOoOOoO

SHARRKkkkKKKKkk

Grabbed a quick bite at McDs (nothing else was open) and took the bus back to one of the underground stops. I had to sit beside a psycho who kept looking me up and down, and purposely placing his elbow so that it would touch me.. eurghhh. And like when he got down he gave me this ‘look’ that I saw from the corner of my eye. It was so scary!!

So here’s the interesting bit. We got on the tube to get back to Oakwood. Everyone else was seated ‘cept for me, Alex and Karyn. The tube was being slow so Karyn and Alex were having abit of fun by playing American Gladiators on the hand railings by doing hand lifts and Karyn trying to kick Alex. There were a couple of drunken old *gay* men at the end of the carriage feeling themselves up so we kept staring and smiling coz it was fun to watch..c’mon, you would think the same too J and out of no where, this idiotic little imp of a man – short, bald and totally ignorant (who could quite possibly be drunk also), started a “conversation” with Alex and Karyn (A&K):

Idiot: scuse me but I have a question..you guys American? I mean from your accent…

A&K: yes we are

Idiot: yeah..yeah….
I thought so…
It’s just that you people sound so irritating..I mean I’m sorry..but I’ve been listening to your conversation for about half an hour just standing here..and..and it’s almost annoying even…
..and you’re making fun of drunk people.. i feel almost bad...
Aren’t you the people who voted for Bush and made him president…
So stupid you lot…
And you drink too so…

Alex: no I’m sorry, I don’t drink

Idiot: OH..OH so you’re one of them CHRISTIAN Americans then…
No seriously…its just a little annoying that…you.. .

and he just went on and on. everyone who heard it had their mouths wide open in disbelief and disgust. I got well pissed as well and he wasn’t even talking about MY country or calling ME stupid! I mean how ignorant can one get?? I don’t even know why Alex layaned this guy but I think I would have to if someone dissed Malaysia.

So when we went out he was still following us halfway and saying things about being British or something until Cheski shouted back at him ‘I AM BRITISH’ and he was still like saying stupid things. So we were waiting at the bus stand for the shuttle to campus and Alex looked pissed. Like quiet pissed. And we were like look forget him you’re the one surrounded with friends look at that fucker he’s standing there alone, its quite sad really maybe he just needed to feel human interaction or something. And Alex was just like no I’m not pissed I’m just irritated that he would say things like that and if we were in America I would beat the crap out of him but you guys are my friends and I didn’t want to do that infront of you guys. So it was ok for awhile and then Hana being crazy Hana was like joking awww do you want to beat him up..come lets beat him up if it’ll make you feel better. And he was like OK..and went to talk to the guy. But that’s all it was.. he was talking to him and like a bunch of them went.

Karyn and I were huddled together we were so worried and scared something bad would happen. But when we went there eventually, it was funny coz Alex was just asking him questions and he would be saying the most random dumb things, like calling him a SIZEist (hifuckinglarious.) and other shit. And we were laughing and taking pictures of him and he was just rattling on and on.

Alex: I just want to know if you’re mentally
retarded.

Idiot: (looking pissed) WHAT did you say!

Alex: Are you..mentally retarded?

Idiot: WHY DO YOU SAY THAT

Alex: I’m just saying because you’re not answering any of
my questions and you’re saying really stupid things that are not nice. Are you
drunk?

Idiot: WH-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING THAT I’M MENTALLY
RETARDED

Alex: yeah..you know..slow. dim-witted..

Idiot: ARE YOU SAYING THAT I’M SPASTIC

Alex: no, I’m just asking you if you’re retarded

Idiot: SO YOU’RE SAYING I’M SPASTIC

And that’s what this imp of a man decides to be reallllly stupid and aims to punch Alex in the eye. But of course he is too short and like punches his cheek instead. And so it broke into a fight, and surprise2 little Cheski flung this guy over the bike stand when the Americans were holding Alex back. Haha..My little English muffin..how did that happen?? nothing serious, the guy wasn't bleeding or anything. Then the shuttle came and took us back to the halls and most of us hung out in Alex’s room to talk and play SceneIt.

i deffo don't think violence is the answer, but this guy was really asking for it. if we had provoked him in some sort of way then ok you know.. fine. but we were doing nothing! absolutely nothing at all?!! who was this guy..ruining everyone's evening?? so selfish and so incredibly stupid. it was only a matter of time. if he didn't get hit this time, he would've provoked someone else in the future and quite possibly get killed for being so insensitive and moronic. he needed this wake up call, i feel.

Weird night, that was.

Revolution @ Soho, 21 November 2006
fffffunnnnn night out with vodka sticks :)

that's our stop!

up yours trejo

mudslide!

the cutest (and tallest!) couple ever!

the three caballeros : my little english muffin and my californian beefcake

come to the dark side, she said :[

shiny happy people on the last train!

cheski learns to count

soul sista

cheski and alex's proclaimation of love for me :)

get in my belleh!

i have to say, i was never a big fan of the whole TomKat union, and i was really starting to believe the rumours that their kid was retarded or something because there were never any pictures and Katie Holmes was always walking about without a baby. but holy moly when i saw this picture on People.com..Suri Cruise is the most adorable thing! look at her!! i may not like your parents, but damn girl..you fine!

just look at her!

..and in other news

watched the latest three episodes of Lost season three thanks to Alex and his trusty American TV on the laptop. ohhh season three is gooooood..abit bollywood-ish at times, but it works (go Team Sawyer haha) oh he is so sexxy but don't worry Alex if you are reading this, i am pretty sure Sawyer will eventually die or something will happen to him and Jack will end up with Kate..cause good guys always get the girl in the end right? ;) but then Jack will be paranoid that she's only with him cause Sawyer's gone so its not quite the happy ending..haha i swear i wrote the script lol.

ya..HE's the man. just look at that gay pose lah pls.

so there's a new character, Paulo played by Rodrigo Santoro and hello hello...Sawyer you have competition mannn..he is NICE. ok so he looks like a cicak in here..but he really is nice to look at. and that girl from Meet the Kelly's is in too. so who to choose! whooo tooo choooosee....hmm...

to sum it up. Sawyer is hot. Jack is Mr Goody Two Shows. i kickass in Connect4 and Jenga. Alex you suck at everything but thank you for the food and entertainment :) Michael it's quality, not quantity. gah.

somebody gonna get hurt a reaaal baddd...

what a week! so SOME exciting stuff has been happening. but why spoil the mystery right? so i'll just bore you instead with stories of how the Middlesex internet server decided to break down the weekend i decided to be a total geek with my essays. yeah. so..great weekend clicking the refresh button every 5mins. yeaahhh!

last nite was fun though, Hana and I slept over at Stella's and Stavros' place in Southgate and it was a good girly night in. Stavros dyed/highlighted/cut my hair for 50quid which was real good..and he did it so quick and its AWEWESEOMM (timberlake-style! click here to watch) love love it, Stavros rocks! ade ade!! Hana had her hair cut as well and she looks so modern-rockin-twiggy-esque its insane. and of course we love Stella and Stav to bits..they're the best hosts ever. there's a lotta love here people!

video conferencing with stav & stella about the cut i wanted the night before :) you gotta love technology!

the result!

the cool shot of hana

u can take the girl out of the retard, but u cant take the retard out of the girl

..and to sum how the sleepover went:

haha. ahhh..good days. :)

Lovesong
by Ted Hughes



He loved her and she loved him.
His kisses sucked out her whole past and future or tried to
He had no other appetite
She bit him she gnawed him she sucked
She wanted him complete inside her
Safe and sure forever and ever
Their little cries fluttered into the curtains

Her eyes wanted nothing to get away
Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows
He gripped her hard so that life
Should not drag her from that moment
He wanted all future to cease
He wanted to topple with his arms round her
Off that moment's brink and into nothing
Or everlasting or whatever there was

Her embrace was an immense press
To print him into her bones
His smiles were the garrets of a fairy palace
Where the real world would never come
Her smiles were spider bites
So he would lie still till she felt hungry
His words were occupying armies
Her laughs were an assassin's attempts
His looks were bullets daggers of revenge
His glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets
His whispers were whips and jackboots
Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing
His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway
Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks
And their deep cries crawled over the floors
Like an animal dragging a great trap
His promises were the surgeon's gag
Her promises took the top off his skull
She would get a brooch made of it
His vows pulled out all her sinews
He showed her how to make a love-knot
Her vows put his eyes in formalin
At the back of her secret drawer
Their screams stuck in the wall

Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves
Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop

In their entwined sleep they exchanged arms and legs
In their dreams their brains took each other hostage

In the morning they wore each other's face

Halloween ou Guy Fawkes? (30 October - 4 November 2006)

i need to focus. focus Audra..focus. i have an essay due in about a week and i haven't done much. this week has been great though:

Monday : Received invitation to go to the halloween party at Tiger Tiger in Central London organised by Kings from a Malaysian we'll call A. Made plans to sleep over at a friends place called B. Sorted.

went to goth town Camden to get my halloween costume alone coz Camden Market is corset central. was bummed that i couldn't afford the proper Marie Antoinette ones at Fairy Goth Mother coz they were 200quid min! also bought black angel wings..couldn't resist! i hate that the days are short in London and by 4pm it's night. you just want to eat and sleep more and you get nothing done. it's horrid.

Tuesday : Friend B tells me he accidentally told his girlfriend (in KL) that I was sleeping over and that it was better if I didn't sleep over coz she was going berserk. I totally understand but to be honest I wasn't too keen on going all the way to Central ALONE since everyone else on campus was going to the one at our Student Union and the energy in the halls was just awesome..everyone was so excited that I got excited :)

funny thing though, I told Malaysian A who invited me and she was like oh is your friend F***Z? hahahaha..it looks like someone else has been insecure enough to be spreading stories. PLEASE I'M NOT, I repeat... NOT interested in boys who've got girlfriends okay..plus I've had him, so you can keep him..really. do it. but girls will be girls and I understand the paranoia.

Anyway, I have no regrets whatsoever in fact I'm uber happy I went for the one at Student Union coz I had a reallly good time and I got a lot closer to some of my neighbours too which is a good thing. costumes were great, bartenders were hot, music was good, company was phenomenal! more pictures at http://audrakay.multiply.com Hana and I went back to Alex's room and I was hungry so he made us all peanut butter banana sandwiches and we ate at Hana's..so baik <3>

Wednesday : attempted to do more studying in the library. why the libraries don't stay open until malam i don't get it. screw the lazy Brits who don't work late.

Thursday : helped Alvaro's group film a short trailer for an imaginary film as part of their broadcast journalism class. I was typecast as the token stereotypical Asian business student..boo. I looked like a total geek had to pakai glasses. but the lead is really pretty she's Scottish Spanish, and Ferdi's Colombian English..mmm. I will get a copy of it when it's done but I bet I'm gonna look like a total yucko. oh well, here's to my immortalization!

Went to Imperial College in Central after with Stella for a seminar on Translating for International Organizations and met up with the rest there. Stella and I dropped by the pub in Southgate after for a game of pool and a gooooood chat about the history of Cyprus/Turkey, war, relationships and all things greek and mythical. i love Stella! Finally met her hairdresser friend Stavros too..he's gonna do my hair soon..yay!

Friday : bummed in my room, dragged myself to Wood Green to buy gloves, a scarf, a hat, and one of those Lagerfeld replica slim ties.. don't ask me why..H&M rocks. came back and attempted to do work.

Saturday : Guy Fawkes fireworks @ Alexandra Palace with Stella and Stavros

sparklers

Alexandra Palace

Audra, Stella & Stavros

fireworks from the hill

and now, I have a cold. So it's off to bed for me. Tomorrow I will read. or the day after that.. who knows when I'll do it. Bonne Nuit!

Vampires & Virgins Halloween Party @ Trent Park Student Union 31 October 2006

best. halloween. EVER!

won't 'rantle' too much. pictures paint a thousand words, so think of it as 10,000 words right here : )

making masks for federica and alexandra in hana's room

hana lookin foine in one of my 'creations' hahaha

you know this picture is cool hahaha

Veron baby!

Malaysia boleh haha damn gay caption

punky brewster!

everyone wants a piece now.

yummy gubbay people represent'in

peanut butter banana sandwiches!

boudoir barbarella.